A Sadder But Wiser Idiot.

Thus Spake the Prophet Shimoda:

"If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats."

I've practiced being fictional; in fact, I have two degrees in the fine art of being fictional. Fictional was one of my favorite careers.

And, Donald Shimoda was right; the fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats. Largely, because the limitations of my realities didn't play into the limitations of the fictional.

I can remember a classroom of students, having seen me in a play (I believe it was The Glass Menagerie, and if you know me, you know which character I played. You have a fifty-fifty chance of being right.), and they marvelled at the fact that for most people, they put on the mask when the go on the stage and take it off when they leave, and I do just the opposite; that I am more open ON the stage than off.

Clever class of students; they found me out.

Because I've never been hurt on the stage.

Oh, well...there were temporary physical pains throughout the years, but never an...injury.

I mean, I've tried, with limited amounts of success, and those successes are those people who have touched my heart, in some cases saved my soul, and carry me through to this day.

But I get tricked so easily. And the tricking is the thing that causes the mask; if you can't see me, you can't hurt me.

My friends see past the mask; they ignore it, and it goes away.

Those who are simple acquaintances, they don't recognize the mask.

The ones that truly hurt are the ones that get by me, inflict the damage, and move on.

Still happens. Even after all these years. And I'm smart enough to know to accept my responsibility; I opened the door, after all.

I should use that little peephole thing in the door. But I don't.

Because I'm not done learning the lessons yet.

But when it all falls down like Humpty Dumpty, I have those friends and loved ones who take me in, pick me up, dry clean me, and send me out again, a sadder but wiser idiot.

Yup, it really is true: to those that love you, no explanation is necessary; and to those that don't, no explanation will suffice.

So, my friends....thank you for doing, and being, and helping, and hoping.

And to the others......Pththththththth!

Good night, and good morning.