Friday, April 30, 2010

Random sentences, put together to assign meaning to a brain that looks quite a bit cheese.

My career choices have been equivalent to sleeping on a lumpy mattress; I keep changing positions, hoping that the next one will be comfortable; but alas.....

I'm watching this really funny Intel commercial where the fat guy reacts to various computer innovations throughout the years; I love the reaction to SPACE INVADERS back in the 70's...but his first reaction to EMAIL is my favorite; because it was MY reaction to email.

Have I mentioned how much I like when art holds the mirror up? Even when it's uncomfortable. And yes, I just compared an Intel commercial to art. And I can do that, 'cause I'm a thinking man in America!

It may snow a bit over this coming weekend, but I am assured by the National Weather Service that the freezing temperatures will definitely end by the 27th of May.

Okay, so the Tigers took two out of three from Minnesota; but the Red Wings dropped the first game against the Sharks. I picked the Tigers to finish third, and I'm sticking by that, for now...'cause I'm still PISSED that they broke my heart on the 163 game of a 162 game season. The Wings I picked to get to this point, but I don't have hope that they'll get to the conference finals. Stay tuned.

I hate morning news programs. There doesn't seem to be any acknowledgment that there is anybody living between NY and LA. And I realize that the Northern State's whopping 2 Electoral votes don't make a whole lot of difference, but.....

Wait a second; WE have 4% unemployment, a budget surplus, lots of oil, and thanks to the vote of a couple of Indian Nations, no NCAA sanctioned University mascots. So WHAT if it snows nine months out of the year? We gots the Norsk Hostfest!

A few of my friends have been talking lately of Red Velvet Cake. I love Red Velvet Cake. If anybody makes me a dozen Whoopie Pies made of Red Velvet Cake....

I have been vacillating between sadness and anger lately. I'm hoping that I'm coming out of that particular forest of Angst, but I do appreciate the kind words and thoughts that have been coming my way lately. I have been accused, in my life, of being distant and aloof in certain circumstances, and even though I don't often comment upon it, I do appreciate the attempts to break through, as well as those that are patiently waiting for the storm to pass.

The clown is still crying on the inside a little; but I do appreciate the various handkerchiefs and shoulders that have been offered.

Now, if only somebody would offer Red Velvet Whoopie Pies.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled readings......

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Dancing in the minefield; what could possibly go wrong?

Somewhere down the line, I began to take myself far too seriously.

Please, refrain from portraying some kind of cartoon shock, with the eyes bulging out, while flags shoot out of your ears, while a rousing Sousa march starts playing at 78rpm.

And please forgive the reference to 78rpm. I keep forgetting that a lot of people who read this never dealt with the 78's, which was pretty much the greatest part of my Father's music collection. You ain't heard nothin' 'til you've heard The Firehouse Five play Two O'clock Jump.

But I digress.

It's not a new idea that I take myself too seriously; the phrase has been uttered on many occasions in my presence, dating back to...well...before I could drive. But that seriousness of character was tempered, somewhat, by the fact that I was aware that tragedies need to become comedies in a hurry, or there's nothing to stop up from throwing ourselves onto the pyre.

Lately, though.....there is a conspiracy against my happiness.

Its beginning is a little insidious; when you work in a place where a small mistake and a large mistake are treated with equal weight, i.e., your ass is handed to you after being turned into something resembling cole slaw, you tend to take every....little....thing seriously. You have to, in order to survive. But, as you all well know, if you live under fire for long enough, you tend not to trust the cease-fire. Quiet makes you nervous. No news, as they not necessarily good news. In fact, after a while you begin to think that no news means that you are about to be demoted, or just let go.

I live in a world where you can't be wrong.

And that, in itself, is wrong.

I've said this before, and it bears repeating: In order to combat a creative enemy, you need to be creative. You need to be able to see things in a larger picture. And this is where we fall down, and I blame the military minds that not only populate the upper echelons of the organization, but the lower levels of "command staff" as well.

I wish I could tell you. But I can only say this: Random is good; random is unpredictable. But to plan to be random defeats the purpose.

But, if you've been following along this year, you know that the first five months have been a little hard. I recently sat in a vet's office, unable to control myself because of lack of sleep and a preponderance of grief, just repeating over and over how tired I am of grief. And it comes at the strangest times....I'll find an old recipe in my Mother's handwriting. I'll find an old cat toy under the couch. I'll get up and start the process of feeding, before I realize I don't have to do that quite the same way anymore.

Add to the mix my Father's recent surgery to put in a pacemaker to his poor unmended heart, because shortly after we left him in Florida, his heart began to stop for ten to twelve seconds at a time...which nobody, including him, seemed to notice......and the fact that I wasn't there, AGAIN.

It's a wonder I want to get out of bed on any given morning.

Oh. Wait. I DON'T.

But, as they say in the theatre, the true sign of a professional is somebody who does his job, even when he doesn't want to.....well, off I go. Thus it has been, thus it shall ever be, until my heart stops. Apparently.

Off I go.

A fine day to you.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Really quick...

Watching television; a commercial comes on for some Oprah-inspired quack who goes by the name of OZ.

"Is your spouse making you sick? It could be happening to you right now, and you might not even know it."


If it was happening to me right now, I wouldn't know it, because I don't feel sick. So, doesn't it go without saying that if I didn't think I was sick, and I WAS sick, that I wouldn't even know that I was sick?

This is one of those things that turns Mr. Hand into Mr. Fist.

Monday, April 19, 2010


I'll never forget the day I met the boy on the right; he lured me in with a playful purring, and then with one flick of the kittywrist, made me look like Scarface Al Capone.

Pyramus was his name; he had a sister...yes, Thisbe. We let Thisbe go a few years ago, when the Cancer became more than even a heroic cat could take.

I had to let Pyramus go this morning. He had a stroke last evening, and I sat with him until the end.

He was a good cat; if such a thing could be said for something who was pointy on five ends.

My friend Kizz always suggests extra treats to others, as a kind of remembrance.

Good idea.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Just like you love me and I love you.....

Gilda would have been 64 years old this June.

My mind always runs to this song, and Gilda, when the stars align to give me a day that's free of stress; a moment of comfort; when life in unintentionally easy, like it was back in the day. When your only concern was having enough money to see the girl on a Saturday night in the middle of May when the night air was just warm enough to keep the windows down, as you wander with a lack of care, to whatever movie is playing at the time you arrive...and what place you'll go to after....and oh, the feel of her palm in yours.

The faces come to me clearly at times like this; the sun is just coming up now, and the ghosts of responsibility are fading, and my Saturday night is actually Saturday morning. The air is just warm enough to open the sunroof on the way home, and I'm pretty sure the IPod will be playing something circa 1979.

I'll go home and watch another episode of Saturday Night Live, circa '75-80. I'll laugh at the old jokes, and remember that all the sketches were not, in fact, solid gold. And I'll say a little prayer to those folks that have gone away, but are never gone away.

And I'll laugh, my friends. Oh, how I'll laugh.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

....For the fool still asking what his life is about.....

I recently came across an old album I hadn't heard in awhile. I could remember listening to it often when I was out on the road in the youthful years of '85-'86, but as the next album comes out, the previous album gathers dust. So, for a small fee, I downloaded it from Itunes, and rode the time machine on my morning walk....

I must have been a sight by the time this tune finished.

The boy is not so forgiving of the man today.......

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Views From The Sixth Floor, Southeast Quadrant of a Big Round Building.

It's kind of like a clip show; I couldn't come up with anything sustainable, so I'll just sort of offer observations. Feel free to skip around. Or skip completely.

You would think that with all the cable networks available, there would be some kind of programming after 1am that didn't include re-running the stuff that nobody would watch during the prime times.

I can't stomach an hour of LOCKUP, and not even a half an hour of TO CATCH A PREDATOR. The former leaves me wondering why I'm supposed to empathize with a career criminal, and the latter just provides the feeling of wanting to take a four day shower, with steel wool.

CURRENT TV is kind of interesting, but as I've said before, they have the same stories, running over and over again. I haven't actually seen but a total of 4 hours of first-run programming since the first of the year.

The Red Wings have made the playoffs again; their twentieth consecutive appearance in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. It looks like they'll finish ranked either fourth or fifth...which means, they'll play whoever winds up forth or fifth. The NY Rangers have a must win against the Flyers....and it would be great to see it. If they get in, and Boston gets in...then 5 of the Original Six would be in....

My Father only really recognizes the Original Six; all the other are posers. He has a special disdain for any team west of the Mississippi. Ya gotta admire his consistency.

The Tigers managed to take their traditional opening series against the Royals.

Just heard a story of a woman who sent her adopted six year old son back to Russia, alone, on a one-way ticket, with a note saying that he was violent and had psychological problems. Lady, there isn't a punishment severe enough. Go to Hell.

Lee Westwood and Ian Poulter are -8 at the Masters, and currently hold the lead. Just in case you were wondering who was leading. They're British. And they're holding the lead. In case anybody cares who's LEADING.

I have a crush on J.J. Ramberg. Smart women always get my attention.

This just in....Liz Taylor may be getting married again. Her ninth marriage. I'm betting that THIS time, it'll work out for her.

Memo to Alaskan Republican: It's pronounced NOO-clee-ur. NOT NOO-cue-lur.

We all know that there will always be factions of Americans that relish the kind of level of debate currently being encouraged in this country. We need to raise the level of public debate in this country, and not lower the bar.

That's why I didn't call the Alaskan Rebublican a F***ING BOBBLEHEAD!

Good Day to you, Daywalkers.

Friday, April 9, 2010

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool

I'm having one of those moments.

You know the kind I'm talking about. I'm sitting in an empty office, waiting for something to happen, hoping that nothing happens, listening out of the corner of my ear to the television that runs 24/7 on various news channels (and occasionally CURRENT, which is a nice change of pace if you like the same stories over and over), and then....IT....comes on.

A PSE about teen pregnancy.

And, I have to admit, it's a good one. Hits on the main point, that being: Your life will change.

It didn't say anything about contraception, or abstinence, or sterility....just the simple message, Your life will change. And a simple phrase: Pause Before You Play.

But still, a nagging feeling. Bristol Palin.

Kid of privilege, speaking to a constituency that isn't privileged.
If she IS preaching abstinence, that ship has sailed kid, and you weren't on it.

So, I have mixed feelings. The message is a good one, and Knowledge IS the silver bullet of the werewolves of society, but.....

The television shouldn't be used to teach teenagers about sex. That's what parents are for.
Teenage Mothers spouting rhetoric are like born-again Christians. Tartuffe is Tartuffe, my friends.

What's next?

Lindsay Lohan doing an anti-drug commercial? Tom Sizemore?

In Jersey, any thing's legal, as long as you don't get caught?

Too early to get too deep.

I'm going for a cuppa coffee and perhaps a lovely danish.

Friday, April 2, 2010

KA, I say, KA BOOM!

Current Bismarck NEXRAD Radar Map : Weather Underground


We got us a BLIZZARD a-happenin' here!

This is just confirmation of by belief in Mother Nature's bitchiness. It began as some driving rain this morning around 0300, and by the time the sun came up, there was two inches of wet, sticky snow on the ground, and it's still coming down.

All that snow that once covered my now, again, covering my lawn.


I DID NOT put the blower away.

Momma Clemo didn't raise no dummies.

Well, she did. My younger brother Larry. But we don't talk about it, unless he's in the room.

Have I mentioned how much I HATE living here, sometimes?