I'm capable of dumbshow AND noise.....

There's a kind of exhaustion that comes from working hard over a long period of time, that noble kind of tired that comes from a job completed.

And then, there's the exhaustion that goes beyond that. When the long period of hard work becomes longer without your knowledge, that noble kind of exhaustion that comes with feelings of homicidal rage.

I'm one step beyond that.

I've been here before; in graduate school, doing a sizable role in a Shakespeare, doing understudy duty on a travelling children's show, not having enough money to eat right, and having the usual course load of a theatre graduate student. I can honestly remember sitting in front of the science building on campus just after a long rehearsal, and crying until I ran out of moisture.

Yeah. Real men crack.

So, here I am; suffering from the fourth straight evening of insomnia, trying to make sure some onjob training is going smoothly, trying to prepare for the imminent departure to our nation's capitol, and preparing for the inevitable return, where I'll hit the ground running.

Combined with my recent career setbacks, I'm wondering what the hell I'm thinking.

And then, I remember that recovering addicts tend to have an overblown sense of responsibility.

One little drink could cure that, I'm told.

In other news, I am having mixed feelings about facebook. While I like the ability it provides to re-connect with old friends.....how do you handle former lovers? I lean towards not allowing them access, for it seems to me that when they left, they had no interest in me, and I see no reason to allow that access now, after all this time. Add to that the infinite capacity of my lumber room, where those feelings go into cedar chests, to be looked at in my old age. But then, there's the nearly infinite capacity for curiosity. How have they been doing, how did the fellow they left me for turn out...things like that. A kind of benevolent schadenfreude.

And while we're on the subject, I must again bring forth my curiosity in the lurkers that read my semi-regular dreck. Come on, people....leave a comment. Just say hi. Agree. Disagree. Give me your recipe for snickerdoodles.

I hope everybody has a great day. For those of you in the south, be careful. For those of you in the East, I'll be in DC starting on Sunday.

More later on most of these stations....