Saturday, January 29, 2011

From exhaustion comes clarity; or, maybe that's just hallucination....

The last couple of days have been a test of endurance.

I'm not exactly sure how I wound up, at my ripening old age, in another one of these stupid tests of endurance.

Okay, I DO know......the fact is that my employment is at odds with my hobbies. And I really like my hobbies; far more and far better than I like my employment.

My employment makes me bitter; my employment makes me sad and mad and paranoid; my employment constantly reports the worst that mankind has to offer; the worst kind of inhumanity, the worst kind of zealotry and idolatry and colonialism......and while I firmly believe in the intent, I am almost constantly disappointed at the application.

My hobbies play to the better angels of my nature.

My hobbies encourage me to meet new people; to flex muscles too long dormant, but thankfully not atrophied past all repair. To hear the sound of an audience, even in those times of silence, is a kind of balm to a sorry soul.

My employment can make me feel inadequate at the best of times; and stupid at the worst of times. I am offered instruction I may require but don't desire. I am forced into a position of becoming something that I either don't recognize, or want to punch in the throat.

My hobbies remind me that there is a small piece of the world that I reasonably understand, can positively contribute to, and get much out of.

If only I could make a living doing my hobbies.

That would encourage me to do a dance.

A little dance.

With perhaps some nudity.

1 comment:

Kizz said...

First, how did it go? I passed a poster for the show on the street last week and thought, "How weird that someone is putting up posters of Clemo's production here in NYC." instead of, "How interesting that someone is doing the show here, too."

Second, you may have heard that I'm going to China next month. Can you make sure I get there and back safely and the customs folks aren't too mean to me? (Remind me to tell you about the time I nearly guaranteed myself refusal of entry into my own country for reason of being a smartass.)