Wednesday, October 15, 2008

To all things.....

Another story from the great back-then.

As a younger man, I did what any young man does, given time, resources, and a certain social circle, I fell in love. Lovely, charming, an excellent sense of humor; her hand fit so perfectly into mine. I loved to watch her dance. I loved to watch her sleep. You know the feeling? Sure, I knew you did.

Come to find out, she loved me back; alas, she didn't tell her boyfriend of that fact. Can you figure out how this little story ended?

I bet you can; but I bet you can't guess at just how humiliating the end actually was.

I had gone to visit her; and through that visit, I felt that something wasn't right. On the night before I was to leave, she got a phone call.....told me she had to go, and that she wouldn't be long, and she left.

I never saw her again.

And to answer your obvious question, I left about an hour after she left me there. It rained all the way back to Missouri. I got there as the sun was rising, and the song on the radio was Wynonna Judd singing, "Stones Throw From Hurtin'"

My life is filled with all kinds of irony. Some of it is funny with the benefit of twelve years of hindsight.

When I closed my door behind me, and checked the machine, there was a message. It was her, telling me she was sorry and that she loved me. I can't remember if I returned the call, but I probably did; and I probably forgave her. Did I mention that I loved her?

I got two other phone calls after that. One from her, telling me that she couldn't talk to me anymore, and it was for the best. The second is from her boyfriend, who took the opportunity to further drive me into the ground like a tent peg; he intimated in no uncertain terms that it was all a game from the start. He gloated. He bragged. I listened.

And she was gone.

Until Facebook.

Lives have moved on, of course......but I had an opportunity to set some things straight, in a sense. Actually, I'll never get the closure I'm looking for, and I suppose that's on the long list of things to regret for the rest of my life, but hell, I've lived with slightly worse. But I did realize something....

The love, for me, is still there.

So, with a heavy heart, I let it go. I've missed her for a dozen years, and I suppose I'll miss her for a few dozen more. But I can't do it.

So....another goodbye.

At least I have my memories.

2 comments:

Gertrude said...

Ain't it grand?
If it turned out every time like we wanted...
would you be who you are now?
Would you have what you have now?
Ask yourself the Reagan question...
Are you better off?
At least thats what I do.
If I can remember to which I usually can't because I have the Reagan disease.
Clemo, it is a beautiful story.
Its Legends of the Fall and I hate that... unrequited love.
But your words are beautiful.

Kizz said...

So it's wrong for me to just say, "That BITCH!" and leave it at that, right?