My wife has a very large heart. She must have; she ignored my obvious faults a little over nine years ago, and responded to my sincere but clumsy requests for a date, and the rest is history.
My wife takes in stray cats; she gives to various charities; and when a relative needs a place to stay, our house is open.
That being said: MY HOME LIFE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.
A little less than two weeks ago, we took in our Niece and Nephew and three young daughters, because they were moving to the area and needed to find a house. They found a house, and will be with us, apparently, until they close on it, which will be sometime in August.
For those of you that know me, you now have a full idea of my predicament, and you are currently sympathizing.
For those of you that DON'T know me; I don't have children of my own, and am not what you would call "kid-friendly." I can take them in small doses, as long as there is a loooooong period of time between those doses.
Perhaps I should point out that these children are 7, 5, and less-than-five. All girls. All VERY jealous of one another. All of them of the belief that not only are they the CENTER of the universe, but also the SMARTEST person in the room.
Once again, for all of you that know me, you know that that's is not true; I am. ME ME ME.
Anyway. The decibel level in my house has elevated. My GOD, the pitch they can actually raise their voices to in an effort to out-do one another is frightening.
I find my routine has been slightly interrupted, because nobody in my house (except me) gets up before ten am, and here I am, even on my bloody VACATION....
(did I mention this is supposed to be my VACATION?)
arranging not to wake people up, walking with pillows on my feet like some sort of cartoon reject, as I live my life between six am and noon like I've done every day since I was twenty......
Crazy.
Don't get me started on mealtimes.
And how much I loathe Hannah Montana.
Zach and Cody must die. Or at least, get the flu.
Phineas and Ferb is pretty funny, though.
But I miss watching The Sopranos.
If you look to the north on any given day, and you see, far into the distance, a mushroom cloud spreading into the stratosphere, know that it was my head that exploded. And say nice things at my memorial.
Who would've thought I would actually retreat to Vegas to get a little peace and quiet?
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2 comments:
Welcome to my world Clemo.
Little girls said with my best Ms. Hannigan voice are indeed the center of their own Universe and they do indeed know everything. That was brillant that you said that. And I heard the tone you used when you said it.
I love the humor in this post. I love the feather feet pillows.
I love that you don't like children.
Me neither.
But none the less...
I do love my child.
I needed some Clemo brillance tonight and once again it was delivered.
You are a great writer.
We can love them as long as we love them from afar. I was babysitting a 1 year old this weekend and thought to myself, "AH!" Couldn't do it full time. Brain would atrophy.
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