In the slow lane of the fast food nation.

One small pet peeve from me today......

Every so often, I get the urge for the fast food. I know that it's not exactly a healthy choice, and I don't do it as often as I used to, but every so often, the bad food jones comes a-callin', and a body's gotta answer.

So, here's the peeve:

If you're going to use the drive-thru:

1. It's called a drive-thru; the name suggests both convenience and speed. Have SOME idea of what you want. And let's face it: It's not a big menu. And the words are all pretty short. And they even have PICTURES if you get confused.

2. Please, if you have a car full of kids, try to maintain some discipline and order FOR them. I watched this lady let her four kids yell their order to the patient attendant one-at-a-time. And when the third one ordered their food, the first one changed her mind, and we were off to the races....

3. If you're picking up food for absent people, please have some alternates in mind before you get there. I sat behind a woman as she made TWO cell phone calls because, apparently, the place she was at didn't have the thing her TWO friends wanted.

4. After you pay for your food at the window and receive your food, and begin to drive away, lets take special care not to forget that you are probably in a line of cars, and it's best to LOOK before you make the faux pas of BACKING UP your car to dispute an order.

5. Sometimes, it's better to go inside the store.

6. If you are in your car, and you use a drive-thru, and there is a new employee at the register, BE PATIENT with them. Be SUPPORTIVE. Treat them as YOU would like to be treated (Jesus said that, I'm assuming because he had some bad experience at the Bethlehem Jack-In-The-Box) because FOR GOD'S SAKE DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY CAN DO TO YOUR FOOD WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING?

Finally, let me add this as a general rule to live by: You are entitled, by Universal Law, to be the center of attention ONE DAY a year. That would be the Anniversary of your birth. After that, you're just another schmo. Be a polite schmo.

See You Next Wednesday.