Hoo R U?

Who am I?

There are some philosophers who believe I am the sum of all my experiences, and there are some that state quite clearly that I can't really know myself at all, and that my only clue as to my identity would be caught in the reflection of those around me. And then, there are the ones that simply tell me to shut up and keep walking, because when you stop, it's over, thanks for playing, and on to the next contestant....

If the first philosopher is accurate, then I am a man who is still in search of himself; for even though I've tried many things, I'm still in flux. I've been many things in this life so far; a student, an actor, a director, a writer, a teacher, an ice cream maker, and a guy who lived for a couple of weeks in a bandstand with three interesting veterans. I like to laugh, I've learned to accept crying, I love deeply and longly, my friends are friends for life and in some cases even after that. I speak the truth when I can; but I do lie occasionally, and I hope to be forgiven for that. I believe in God, but don't believe in organized religion. I ask for forgiveness for my sins, and try to do it even when I'm not about to spoon up a crap sundae. I've spent a lot of time trying to get noticed; so much time, in fact, that the idea of getting noticed now makes me cringe. For a long time, I was a private person in the public view. Now I'm a private person in hiding.

If the second philosopher is true, then I'm invisible. I cannot for the life of me see my reflection in the people around me. I make them laugh occasionally. I piss them off occasionally. It's hard to see, because the flaw in this philosophy is that the reflection must, in fact, be interpreted by me, and in doing that, I have to bring to bear all of those things touted by the first philosopher. So, it's confusing.

The third philosophy (keep walking) is just so much bullshit. Obviously, whosoever came up with that one really needs to sit down, shut up, and watch the world go by for awhile.

So, in essence......I think people have the enviable ability to re-invent themselves every day. Today, I'm philosophical; tomorrow, I might just want to be Jonathan Winters; and the day after that, Winston Churchill. And after that, Charlie McCarthy. The windows and doors are open, and who's to say which one it the right entrance or exit?

Or maybe Robert Benchley was right; maybe it all has to do with bone dust.