Remembering the Dawn.

A few days short of the official day of Spring, and look outside....

This is the first of the two snow storms expected between now and Tuesday...but it's only supposed to drop a few inches of snow, so it's not like we didn't have our thaw....and it's supposed to be worse south of here, so bless the slack and off we go....

As of late, I've been thinking of one of my oldest friends, Dawn. And getting all misty-eyed.....and cursing myself for the failure to keep up those things that are, apparently, most dear.

A little background: I've known Dawn since before I can remember to remember, so if you know me at all, that's a looong time. She was the youngest of three; her older siblings were Laura and John, and if it's possible to love three people more as a kid who did not avail himself of sentimentality, then....

Get it? I loved them. Whenever the three of them, and my two brothers and I got together, it was merrie melody time.

And interesting footnote: Laura and John were twins, born late in the month of May. Dawn was born two years later, on the same day. Now, back to my regularly scheduled walk down the lane.

Their family moved around quite a lot, compared to mine, but they always had the cabin just up the river road from ours, and the summers were filled with endless days of sunshine, and endless nights of stars so dense you could read the paper from the light that they returned.

Laura had a crush on my older brother Paul. In fact, I'm pretty sure they had some kind of relationship, and it should have worked, but it didn't. Dawn had a crush on my younger brother Larry, but when I brought it up to him just a few weeks ago, he seemed totally oblivious to this fact, even though it was apparent to pretty much everybody else on the planet. Nobody had a crush on me, and that is just the story of this boy's life.

When the sun was shining, we were out on the river. When it occasionally rained, it was indoors with the various card games, or the ENDLESS games of Monopoly. On those rare occasions when the parents would allow, we invaded the town to play a few rounds of miniature golf.

Funny about my memories of that time; the sun always seemed to be shining, the temperature always seemed to be moderate, and the world was free of strife of any kind.

And then we got older.
Damn the luck.

John works in finance on the East Coast somewhere, but alas, I lost touch with him a few years ago. I miss his sarcasm, and his voice. I swear to GOD that he was the template for Owen Meany. At least, he was the voice I heard when I read that wonderful book. His quick wit was the thing I most admired; he could make me laugh.

Laura disappeared; some say into a religious cult, others say it was just a marriage to which her parents disapproved. They don't speak of her; and nobody asks. The Laura I remember was beautiful, intelligent, and headstrong. And yes, I had a crush on her; she was the first girl to ever make me cry.

Dawn is very sick these days, and I've tried to stay in touch over the past year, but my attempts have been met with either short platitudes or silence. I'm assuming that Dawn wishes to remember what we all were, rather than what we've become. I'm not generally one to sound my horn to heaven when I need a favor, and am DEFINITELY not known for bragging about it when I do.....but these days, I send out hopes. And wishes.

It is rare when I get back to that cabin in the middle of the mitten state. Most of the cabins have changed hands; some, more than once in the ensuing years. My father's cabin will remain in the family, though. I've made that clear. There will be at least one more generation after mine that enjoys those moments away from the demands of the citylife, even though I'm not the one to supply that next generation. When I DO get there, I take my morning walk up the river road, and I say good morning to the people who live there now, and I tell the stories of those Halcyon days to whomever wants to hear them, of a time when the place was filled with roving gangs of children, soaking up the best of what life had to offer them, with no thought of the future beyond what kind of game they were going to invent tomorrow.

Occasionally, they let me have a peek inside their dwellings, but I don't see what they've done with them.

I only see what was there before.

UPDATE 3/11/09:

Dawn passed yesterday, after a long battle with life. Of my friend, I can say that she has always been in my heart, and there she will remain, until my light goes out.
Thanks for the moments of our youth, kiddo, and I'll see ya when I get there.