The story you're about to read is embellished; but the fundamental depression is accurate.

You know how you can be watching some kind of televised program, be it live, or re-run, or DVD or whatever, and your enjoyment is interrupted by somebody coming into the room and offering unwanted commentary?

Yeah.

So, I'm watching one of my favorite secret pleasures; that being, a couple of old episodes of MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.  And even though I've seen them thousands of times (those episodes got me through grad school), I still snicker at some of the lovely lunacy.

Enter the villain of the piece; a young man with no practical experience.

"That's stupid."

No experience, no resume to point to, and if he stays in the room for very much longer, no head.  Seriously, I have a bowling bag with his name on it.

"So, " I ask, "What do you find funny?"

"I like the real stuff."

"Such as?"

"Those JACKASS guys are pretty funny."

(Now, mentally picture me sharpening my head-collecting knife with slow precision, eyeing him for the perfect angle at which to strike.)

"Uh huh."  Is all I can manage.

"Well, it's funnier than a bunch of men in dresses, talking with stupid accents and hitting each other with their purses."

"Well, they're recreating the Charge of the Light Brigade."

"The what?"

(Yup.  It will be a public service to put this kid's head in a bag, but I'm not going to waste a perfectly good bowling bag on him....I'm thinking just one of those plastic bags I get at Walmart.)

"And what's funny about the JACKASS guys?"

"They do stuff."

"I've seen them.  It seems that they're committed to injuring themselves and others."

"Yeah.  That's funny."

He then leaves the room, and I let him go.  He's somebody's son, somebody's brother.  I can't take his head.  I'm far too depressed.

I am changing my name to Raymond Luxury-Yacht.

It's spelled "Luxury-Yacht", but it's pronounced, "Throatwarbler-Mangrove."

Good night.