What is that ball of fire in the sky?

For those of you not following my life:

I presently sit in an office from somewhere around nine pm until somewhere around 5 am. I do this to keep my part of the world safe, or at the very least informed about things that could go from safe to unsafe faster than you can say "hello" into a telephone at four am without sounding like you've been up all night waiting for the phone to ring.

If that sounds rambly, it's only because the phone rang at 4 am. And when I'm sitting at my desk and the phone rings at 4 am, it's NEVER a good thing.

Come to think of it, it's been my experience that 4 am phone calls are never good, period.

So.

Being up all night at the age in which I find myself feels roughly like having your brains dashed out by a slice of lemon surrounding a large gold brick.

So.

The phone rings.

I quickly make sure I have something to write on, because chances are things are going to require notation.

I realize that I haven't actually spoken for around seven hours (yelling obscenities at Bill O'Reilly in my head doesn't count) and I quickly make sure that all systems are go for positive verbal communication.

I briefly panic, trying to remember how I'm supposed to answer the phone. Acronyms are not my friends.

I pick up the phone.

I try to say, "This is blah blah blah at blah blah."

It comes out all screwy.

There is a pause.

The caller says, not unkindly, "You want to try that again?"

My response is, "I'd better not."

And we laugh and go on from there.

And how was YOUR day?