A middle aged man was seen running from a hotel this afternoon in Fairfax, Virginia, after first attempting to throw himself into an artificial fire.
Witnesses claim that the man had previously endured almost a week of sleep deprivation, coupled with what they referred to as, "Mental torture that makes Gitmo and Abu Ghraib look like a vacation in Orlando."
When last seen, the middle aged man was running through the streets, shouting, "Glibberty Flibbit!" and "Save John Philip Sousa, save the world!"
Below, is a picture of the poor unfortunate. If you see him, do not approach unless armed with Pop Rocks and Marmalade.
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